11.3.09

Painfully Bad Jokes

I have not posted in a while, mainly because of frustration with school. This post unfortunately contains lower amounts of awesomeness than my other posts (less than lethal this time) but I hope to get back to writing about philosophy and science shortly, so don't expect to have a long life. Now I am here in the university computer lab hunched over my keyboard, the lights are casting a dull iridescence on the window, clashing against the epitomic ebon barrier of the night outside. However, lets not finish that thought..... I have a rational desire to recount my rampage of ridiculously bad jokes. All of the following are summaries of actual jokes, I and a few others have told, directed towards my room mate and his friends. (some retroactively (as opposed to proactively) edited to improve their badness) (I know that was a double parenthesis)

The school "Berria" sounds like a cheese, (kind of like Brie) It might be a guda idea to go there, although I am worried about swissing my major and making myself blue. Whatever happens I should remember that there are mozzarella colleges out there.

Room mate's little sister: "who are you?"
Me: "I am death, the destroyer of worlds!"

Room mate: *kills a creature made of rocks in world of warcraft
Me: "you rocked it!"

Room mate: *complains about anti polish jokes* (he's Polish)
Me: "Polish people? Oh, yeah those people who dance around poles."

Room mate: *playing medieval total war* "I'm playing Wales"
Me: "You are a whale."
Room mate: "Why is England attacking me?"
Me: "Maybe it's because they're going whaling."

Me: "I wouldn't want to use an axe against a pike."
Room mate: "Of course not, because they can swim faster than you."

Roommate: "I'm going to give you a steak for your birthday." (I'm a vegetarian)
Me: "Yay! now I can pitch my tent."

Roommate: "They are battering down my gates."
Me: "I bet that means they are going to deep fry them."

someone: "Do you have cable?"
someonelse: "no"
Me: "but do you have rope?"

professor: "....that's what algebra means, it actually comes from arabic."
me: "I thought algebra is what mermaids wear."

Programming jokes:

Vishnu::~Vishnu(){ cout << "And now I am become death the destroyer of worlds" endl;}

The following is an email I sent my friend after I got one of my programs to work
most of it does not even make perfect sense in that context:

/*
Unfortunately the proper namespace gave all the files std's.
After all the files were all infected they ran perfectly without any errors........very quickly as certain officials had initialized laws against that sort of behavior. However, they eventually came to their senses and realized that they could not escape.... characters who seeing them in their scopes declared that they would double their efforts to string them up. At first they braced themselves for a fight, but after being threatened with an array of weapons, agreed to compile and were executed without any warnings. Unfortunately I did miss the program, it really threw me for a loop and I had trouble functioning for a while not being able to think of what to do. It almost got to the point where I could not cout of my depression. However I finally consoled myself, after all I could not have considered all the variables in that situation, I was simply out classed. I eventually recovered when my psychologist gave me some pointers about getting more structure in my life, that's when I started to rebuild some things by taking a more constructor attitude and realized that it was not the endl;.
*/

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