What do you think about communist goats?

Red eyed communist goat
I will provide evidence here (rather than there) as to why communist goats are the greatest threat to society ever foisted upon this God given green earth.

The reasons are as follows:
1 They are communist
2 They are goats
3 They eat everything! (derived from 2)
4 They are anti-American (deductively proved by categorical and disjunctive syllogisms from the previous axioms)

Yes communist goats are a bane to the essence of America, and of freedom and of all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, and all things wise and wonderful: if you want to help come to this meeting:

"The IMMEDIATE PERIL of BOLSHEVIK GOATS to this country and the plot to destroy the American Federation of Labor and Overthrow the Government of the United States will be disclosed at this meeting by our distinguished guest, who has had access to secret sources of information and possesses positive evidence. (as opposed to depressing evidence) This mass meeting will undoubtedly be the most important, sensational and Dramatic meeting held anywhere since the Civil War (today's jerks don't mind their manners when fighting them). The Bolshevik League of Goats is of even greater importance to the American people today than the unimpending presidential election. This Meeting has No Political Aspect... No, Really! It is purely patriotic, given under the sole auspices of the Press Club of Chicago as the starter of a counter propaganda to kill of the scarlet Goat agitation in this country and its consequent evils. Someone other than me is not a candidate for anything, nor does this organization participate in politics. This is purely a Patriotic Meeting for every red-blooded citizen of America, particularly the working men and women. If a man were about to touch a bomb off under your home, you would be interested to prevent it. The most Dastardly Conspiracy in the History of the World is on foot to touch off a bomb under the United States of America and throw it into the vortex of a Revolution. If you think this is an exaggerated, hysterical statement, attend this meeting, learn the faces, and take a hand in this fight that is of interest to every patriotic citizen under the Stars and Stripes. You will hear one of the greatest Orations ever delivered; you will hear a recital of the most cold-blooded, terrible conspiracy ever perpetrated against any government. Fellow Workers--and this includes us--help save the Nation! Attend this Meeting! Advertise it! Make it the greatest movement yet started to thwart the Crimson Goats. Everything FREE! Come, and bring your fellow workers." (see original document)
(copied almost exacerbatim from anti-communist rhetoric during the war that never reached boiling point)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

awesome man..........destroy the commi goats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!