A Brush with Fate

Coming home from work Maria Carzechoff was in a mood of acute blahness as she slithered off of her bicycle and onto the floor of her disorderly apartment. After the bicycle fell on top of her, she decided that slithering was an atrocious mode of transportation, almost as atrocious as her day. The thought crossed her mind to be thankful for not being born a snake, but then the thought of biting herself and slipping peacefully out this mad world made everything parallel once again.

She had been depressed for some time now, and her condition hadn't been improved by her boring and strenuous job, or by the loss of her scholarship to the college of her dreams. Once a logical, joyful, and bright young lady, she now was paranoid and bereaved. Inspite of all this, men flocked to her (she was still gorgeous), but she turned them all down, complaining that they could never make her happy because the universe had decided to make her sad.

She managed to cross her mind once again and block the bleak cognitions that screeched like harpies to be let in. In the moment of calm she spoke to her self: "I bloody well need a shower, I shouldn't have taken the long way home through that meadow." And grasping all of her fortitude, trudged into the shower, turned on the water, and stripped off her clothes (in that order) only to find that a massive tick had latched itself on to her stomach. She shrieked, and after a great deal of bumbling, and bumping, managed to pry the thing off.

Now she had a scape goat for her troubles, she would make this tick feel her pain, she would make the universe hate this tick, or the other way around, she didn't care to formulate her thoughts correctly at this point. Leaving the tick in the sink and her clothes in the shower, she excitedly tiptoed to the closet by her bedroom window to get her lighter, not bothering to consider positive chances that someone would be fixing the power line outside.

This lack of consideration was quite unfortunate for Jeff Bingham, who, when seeing Maria, reacted in a gentlemanly fashion by squinting and inquisitively brushing aside the leaves that blocked his field of vision in the excited manner of a biologist that thinks he may be discovering an outlandish new species of insect. Jeff suddenly felt extremely weak, and after a brief moment of thinking that he was in love, realized that he had actually touched the live power line, and fell like a rag doll to the earth. Maria, being unaware of Jeff's plight, so absorbed was she in her task, hardly noticed the lights flicker as she grabbed her lighter and ignited her stomach's former stowaway; it was only minutes later that she heard a siren, and throwing on some clothes, went to investigate.

"Oh my God! how did this happen?" she gasped into a paramedic's cold scruffy face. She didn't hear the answer, for at that moment she glimpsed the flashing light of the ambulance. "My window shades were open" she stuttered. "Yes?" the paramedic's face was now both scruffy and confused. "He must have been a gentlemen, turned away and lost his balance.... I killed him" she whimpered under her breath. There was complete silence as she bent over and kissed the lifeless (actually unconscious) Jeff Bingham on the forehead; the scruffy paramedics softened their gaze, for neither had they seen calm nor compassion in strife, and never had they foreseen such love in anguish.

Maria sobbed that night. The walls of her apartment held aloft the temple of dejection where she would sacrifice tears on the alter of her sorrow; she had built it to appease the gods of iniquity, to actuate the numens of her netherworld. "Oh how cruel I am", "I tortured and murdered a harmless tick", and "how could I think of a tick, when I have killed a gentlemen?" was the recursive mantra. It was almost past midnight when the pills she had accidentally overdosed on began to take effect. She was after all on depression medication while experiencing the effects of the aforementioned: memory loss. Something brushed against her window; something was about to pay a visit, something that was long overdue.


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